So its been a while since I posted anything and that's because I have been at a plateau spiritually. I had such a high spiritual growth over the summer and now I am having withdrawals, hahaha just kidding.
Something I have recently realized is I am in a time of peace and joy. I am not in a tribulation or struggle at the moment and kind of wish I were. It is so much easier to be in the word and talk to God when something is going wrong. It's so easy for us to run to God for help, forgiveness, and wisdom.
In the fall, I was sent a Forward Chain email which was an illustration of God and prayers. It said that God has zillions of letters filed away of prayer requests and only a few hundred thanks and glorified prayers. Although this is just an illustration and story it really go me thinking. So this season I have really been praising the Lord whenever something good comes. In reality these praises and thanks are the only prayers I have been focusing on.
However, I am really struggling with all the good the Lord has given me because I know I do not deserve any of it. I find myself constantly questioning God why he has blessed me so much? and why me? So many of my friends and family, and people in the world in general are struggling and not as blessed as me. Last Sunday I realized that it comes down to me not wanting to accept God's Grace, and wanting to be selfish and in control. I want to punish myself because it is so hard for human beings to understand how much the Lord loves us and Jesus was crucified on the cross for me. Him dying there was the punishment I deserve but he took it all to bare. So why do I insist on trying to bare that burden too?
John 10:11 "I am the good Shepard. The good Shepard lays down his life for his sheep."
With all this said I think it is important to remember that our Lord our God loves us more than we can comprehend and therefore has saved us.
I like the song Beloved by Tenth Avenue North, it's a beautiful song which talks about the Lord's love for us.
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