Corinthians 13---LOVE

Lately I have really been struggling with my teammates. There are a select few (3, maybe 4) that I get along with while everyone else not so much. My roommates don't talk to me and give me looks when I come into the same room as them like they were just talking about me. It's rough for me because I struggle when people do not like me. I am a placater (need to please people and have everyone like me). However, no matter what I do I can't get them to like me. I sit around some days thinking..."Why don't they like me? What did I do?"

Well, I have been reminded that my self worth is not in what other's think of me but ultimately what JESUS says is true for me; that being he loves me no matter what. I continue to try reminding myself this when my thoughts go to how and what I can do to make them like me. Also, no matter what people do, only the Lord can satisfy me. Everyone in the world can like me but they will still disappoint me. I need not to look for satisfaction in other's view of me and relationships but in my relationship with Christ. As I am writing, this song came on and reminded me of this. =]

Anyways getting to the good stuff..this is what I am learning and struggling with, but here are the truths and scripture I need to study. 

First 1 Corinthians 13 is a perfect example to show what it means to love someone. Most people read this scripture and think of romantic love. Although it can be seen as this too, this love described here is talking about the Lord's love for us and how we should love others. 

1. Love is patient: To love another I need to be patient. It's hard to love someone who is mean to you so it takes time and lots of patience!!
2. Love is kind: Loving someone doesn't mean being rude or getting frustrated and angry at them.
3. Doesn't envy, boast, or is proud: Love is is humble, giving glory not to self but the Lord. 
4. Doesn't keep a record of wrongs or easily provoked: Love isn't of the flesh, and falling to sin; getting back at someone or reacting to something. 
5. Rejoices in the TRUTH!! 

These few verses are so hard to live by and act upon but ultimately the right way to love someone. There is so much more to loving someone than the consumer's view. Also we need to love everyone, those we like, those we don't, and those who just tick us off to no end. This leads me to the next scripture. 

Second, Matthew 5:38-48, Luke 5:27-36 which plainly states love your enemies. Why you may ask? Well, why not? Loving on your enemies will show them that you do not fall to their level and get them wondering what it is that keeps you so alive and happy. Not letting anything bother you, not even when they treat you like dirt. This provides a great opportunity to show them what it means to have Christ in your life. 

Thirdly, this past week I have been praying and meditating a lot on this verse in my head. John 15:18 but below is verse 18-22 

"If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you. Remember the world I spoke to you: A slave is not greater than his master. If they kept My word, they will also keep yours. But they will do all these things to you on account of My name, because they don't know theOne who sent Me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin. Now they have no excuse for their sin."

This verse helps me not get angry at them so much and try to understand that I need to love them back. It's not my fault, they are not hating on me directly but on Jesus. It also reminds me of how strong Jesus was but also that he was human. He found strength through the Spirit and prayed a lot. I need to do the same.

My Growth in Romania

Yesterday I decided to just take my time and walk to practice alone. I was planning on listening to music but when I pushed play a sermon came up from Reality LA (my church in Los Angeles). It was about getting right with Jesus and where you are at. This sermon was old, I think I had heard it before, but it really moved me listening to it again. It was just what i needed.

The reading was John 21:15-23

After awhile of listening to pastor Tim, I realized I am trying to find what my purpose is to be here. Is it to share the Gospel with teammates, help someone, meet someone, do something? WHAT? However I realized all this time is for me to become closer to God. There is TONS of free time, and I am looking to fill it with doing something however I need to just pray, reflect, learn, and work on my relationship with him. I was reading a devotional a few days ago and it mentioned that your relationship with Jesus is just like any relationship. You need to listen, talk, share, think about each other, etc. So that's why I am here and what I am suppose to do.

Anyway, back to the podcast. I realized I spend too much time focusing on others than myself. I pray more for others than myself, look to help others than working on my own problems. Tim mentioned that we focus on others to compare and judge. It doesn't matter what person "A" is doing (to an extent). I can't control, fix, or make person "A" do the right thing, only God can. I CAN make ME do the right thing. I am in control of myself. Just like in John 21:15-23 Peter is worried about John's future and not his own, when jesus says it's non of your consern. Follow me. Do what I told YOU to do.

Another thing pastor Time mentioned was community. I also say how important that is for me in order to keep on the right path. However pastor Tim brought up a great point; that it can become an idol or obsession taking away from your personal time with God. I am too focused on being around others and the study we do there, that I don't do anything outside community groups. That's my "God time". I substitute community for my "check list". I did it, so I don't need to do my reflection, prayer, or journaling any more. This is not how it's suppose to be. I have learned I need to have more personal time with the Lord, instead of relying on community to help me with my relationship.

Here is the podcast if you'd like to watch. Pastor Time is awesome, funny, and relatable.  http://realityla.com/teachings/keeping-your-focus/

Patience and Peace

So it has been a bit since I last wrote something on this blog so here is what's been up. I was patient and waited for the Lord. I got anxious and depressed as the summer ended and still had no place to play professional basketball, but when I was just about to hand in the towel my agent found me a team to play on in Romania. So, with that said I am now in Romania playing ball. With this, I am alone without any friends or family near by. However, I am learning what it means to be still and calm in the Lord. I spend most of my days in my room with nothing to do but think, watch sermons, and just listen. Sometimes walking to practice or around town it also is just me and the Lord time. It has been a great experience, although only one week, to see things in a different perspective. I feel peaceful and calm, paying attention to every detail and what's going on around me. Taking in what i can.

Another thing I am learning and working on is loving my enemies, or teammates that rub me the wrong way. Lately I have been quick to my temper and frustration with others. But Jesus says "Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you" Matthew 5:44 I am learning to love on them no matter what they might think, say or do to me. It's difficult but a better strategy than getting wrapped up in all the frustration and stress. 

But God is good and i am learning a lot and loving every bit of it. It's just another stage of my life :) 

Always Waiting...

So at the moment I am waiting to find out what The Lord has planned for me. What is my purpose? What am I suppose to be doing with my life? I would LOVE to go play basketball overseas and experience the world. I also just finished up working with kids in a summer program and loved it. I'm in limbo, so I am just WAITING....

A friend of mine recently shared some wisdom with me. She said that we are constantly in a state of waiting. Waiting for a job, waiting for the baby to come, waiting for Mr. right, waiting for the work day to be over..just...WAITING. This really made me think about life and where I am right now in life. I am just like everyone else, lost and impatient.

But it's time I get use to it because the rest of my life I will still be Waiting on something. It's more about what you are doing in the mean time, in this season of waiting. Being still for the Lord, spending quality time with Him, finding other things you are good at or enjoy...Why focus so much energy on one thing when there are so many other joys in life. Like kids! They say the funniest things, are naive and innocent to some of what the world says true. Being around them just puts me in a good mood.

Waiting is also a good time to prepare for what is to come. Look at each situation and get better, because you never know what the Lord is trying to prepare you for. For me during this time of Waiting, the Lord is trying to show me patience, test my commitment to Him, and how hard it is to live without community. I am sure I will need all this practice when I get overseas thousands of miles away from home.

Overall, I am still WAITING and Anxious for the next stage of my life. If only God could hurry up ;)

Adoration for Jesus

Like I have stated in my previous posts, I am trying to understand falling in love with Jesus. I a reading a book called Crazy Love By Francis Chan--which is AMAZING and I totally recommend everyone and everyone to read it!!! As I have been going through the book I am learning little by little what it means to Love Jesus and what that looks like. I just wanted to share a little about what I am learning:

1. Have you ever thought about the Immensity of the Universe?
First off this world we live in and take granted for is just unbelievable and so detailed. For example, the Earth is positioned just enough away from the Sun for life to exist. Have you ever thought of if we were a little closer or little further we wouldn't be able to live? Just take a quick look at this mind-blowing video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpChZxPfa-c

Isn't that just crazy? I'm speechless. How often do we think of something as monumental as the Universe? This is why we are called to glorify the Lord. For He is majestic and breath-taking. This world is amazing and beautiful and we can thank the Lord for it by praising him! :0)

2. We are Selfish People
I'm sure you've heard it before, but you could die at ANY moment...seriously. It's hard to think of because we live each day as just another day. Frederick Buechner said, " Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever."
Each day we wake up thinking: "What will I do for myself today?" Go shopping? Buy a new entertainment system? Go to the spa? You see the picture. Me, Me, Me, Me, ME! But like the last point it isn't about us, but God. For this is his world and we are here to glorify and bring praise to Him!

3.  Stress and Worry

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives (Chan 42)"

"Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, out lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control (Chan 42)"

I love these quotes. They are SO...SO true!!! This comes back to being selfish people. We think it's all about us and we need control. This is totally me. I am a control freak--I have gotten better, but still love control of knowing--and being a control freak I worry a lot and stress about things that don't deserve my attention.

Like knowing what my week looks like. What I'll do each day, when, where...I like to organize a schedule and need to be on time. However, out here in Los Angeles people are always late and lackadaisical. It drove me INSANE for the first few years I lived out here and I would get so frustrated and strung up. People weren't on time, causing my schedule to fall apart. I would worry about the next thing I had to do and stress over making it there on time. But all that energy and frustration just put me in a bad place. Who cares? Life's not perfect. 

The funny thing is that it would always somehow work out. haha funny how God's always got your back hu? That's what I have learned about stress and worry. There's no use wasting that energy and getting so strung up that your Grumpy from Snow White. God's got your back, even in the smallest things.

4. Loving versus Obligation

Scripture tells us: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" --Matthew 22:37

 This doesn't mean scheduling time to pray, journal, or reflect. It doesn't mean going to church because it's Sunday. It doesn't mean going to bible study so you can check it off your list for the week. Loving Jesus with all your heart, mind, and soul is something internal. It means you WANT to do these things not that you are obligated to do them; your motivation changes from guilt to love. I don't go to basketball practice because I HAVE TO (although sometimes it feels like it), but because I actually LOVE IT. I wouldn't be playing if I truly didn't Love it.

Jealous for us

 

This past week I attended Fellow Christian Athletes (FCA) camp at UCLA. I was a huddle leaders (or counselor) for high school basketball girls. During the day we play basketball and learn about the Lord's word. Then in the evening we had Chapel which consisted of music and a message. Last week this song was playing and I don't know why but it really moved me. I have heard this song many times before but felt like I was hearing it for the first time. It made me break down knowing the that Lord is JEALOUS FOR ME!!!! That kind of love is just amazing, and rare. I am blessed to be saved and am excited for the kingdom of Heaven to finally meet the one who is jealous for me and loves me unconditionally. Just a little something I thought I'd share. Have a blessed day! :0)

Searching For What it Looks Like to LOVE Jesus

So I am trying to figure out what it means to Love Jesus. People say it all the time but I am not sure what it really means...How do you LOVE Jesus...he isn't here physically. It's a hard concept to grasp. First off, the Bible talks about three different types of Love: 1) Agapo , 2) Philo, 3) Eros. Agapo is unconditional love, Philo is brotherly love (friends), and Eros is romantic love. So how do you LOVE Jesus in these three ways?

Agapo is the love God expects us to have. The unconditional, selfless love. However it is hard to have in this world and when our flesh (bodily desires) want to take over. However, it is a love to try to achieve and work towards with others. Although I will not lay down my life to total strangers like Christ did, I do try NOT to be judgmental towards others but love them for who Jesus sees them as. It is not my job to judge but God's.

Philo is something that I feel I have a better understanding of when it comes to Jesus. He is like my Abba, father. He takes care of me, and knows what is best for me in situations. I have come to trust in him, the hardest part is knowing what path he exactly wants me to be on. My philo for Jesus is also that of my friend. He is there for me in tough times and great times. Those times where I repeatedly dealt with injury to those days when I would just see beauty in this world, like a sunset. Like friends, we have the chance to share these moments with Jesus.

However....Eros is something that sounds just OFF THE WALL when it comes to Jesus. Seriously, like...what??!!! How do you Romantically Love Jesus???? However, the other day I was wrestling with this question and came upon this blog. Check it out because it was awesome. It really helped me think of Loving Jesus in a different light.

The Bible describes Jesus as the Groom and us (male or female) as the bride in several places. Here are a few of my favorites: Isaiah 62:1-5; Isaiah 61:10; 2 Corinthians 11:1-2

So now that there is truth in the fact that we are brides to Christ, how do I go about LOVING him? Well the blog from above opened my eyes explaining that we need to love Jesus in the everyday things that surround us. Jesus is in the beauty of nature and like it says in Genesis 9:6 we are made in his image; therefore, look for Christ like characteristics in others. What characteristics do you want in a husband/ (wife)? Those things are found around you in everyday life and are from Jesus. This is what it means to fall in Love with Jesus.

I don't know. I am still trying to discover what it feels like and means to love Jesus but today I think I have come a bit closer to doing so. I hope this was helpful and you too can learn to Love Jesus; because he loves us unconditionally and died for us. :0)

Update

So it's been about 5 days since UTC and it is hard living in this horrible world. Our little bubble we had was so easy and peaceful, but once I got back to LA there was yelling, people cutting me off on the road, cursing, and just talk of un-Christ like things. I didn't think it was going to be so hard. Without anyone around to help support me on a day-to-day basis its difficult. But I NEED to get back into the Word and community.

However, today during workouts, I was able to apply the principles and tools I learned at camp. It was effective and helpful. Hard to focus when outside forces are yelling and gesturing otherwise, but I kept my focus on Christ and he helped me through. God is Good! All the Time! And All the Time, God is Good. Hopefully I can keep up the tools I learned and applying them in basketball. :0)

Last day of UTC

So yesterday after the special we went to the Rocky Mountains for a Bonfire. It was gorgeous. It was just so beautiful and glorious to see this beautiful land that the Lord made. While at the bonfire we made s'mores, worshiped, and fellowshiped. Before we left one of the staff members shared this beautiful analogy of Jesus Christ and a relationship with him. He said:

Our relationship with Jesus is like a marriage. You love someone so much you can't wait to run into the arms of the one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. On your wedding day, as you get to the alter you realize your garments you have on are dirty and have holes in them. While Jesus is the groom at the end of the aisle wearing pure, beautiful, clean garments. You want to run to the bathroom to wash them and fix them but there is nothing you can do. But the Father of the groom has had the solution for some time now. You freeze in the aisle not sure what to do, should you run away? You're not worthy to be there next to your beloved groom. But just before you decide to turn, Jesus starts walking towards YOU. As he walks down the aisle towards you, he begins to unzip his clothes, taking off his pure white clean garments and places them on you. You look at him thinking, "What do I have to do for these? What do I owe you?" but he says NOTHING, just put them on. He then takes your dirty holed garments and places them on walking towards the cross taking every piece of wrath that you deserve and dies on the cross paying for my sin.

This analogy was just beautiful. Just like 2 Corinthians 5:21 says "For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ."

Then this morning we recapped what we did this week, the principles and the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. We discussed what we were suppose to do now that the camp was over.

NOW WHAT?

Jon, one of the main staff leaders, said that this camp is not meant to just be a spiritual high and then eventually fade. It is a spring board to take you further. For example, he said gymnasts don't use a spring board to just fly through the air, but to help get them on the vault. The spring board is the way to the vault. UTC is a spring board for growth and a direction towards walking with Jesus Christ. An acceleration in direction. Spiritual highs don't produce fruit (John 15:1-17).

Then we talked about the Parable of the Sower, which explains 3 different ways a person can take what they learned and walk away with it. It's a good story and I recommend you read it for I am a bad story teller and give poor recounts. Read Matthew 13:1-9 and 13:18-23

Then Jon told us some steps to moving on after this camp. First, burn your ships. He said, Cortez the explorer of Mexico, landed on Mexico and told his crew to take everything off the boats. After they did so he set the ship on fire. He did this to make the point that there was no going back and only forward. So the question is what ships do you have to burn in order to follow Jesus and move forward in your walk with Christ. Secondly, you need community to grow. It's not about if you like them, if their weird, etc.. but can they help you grow. It's important to surround yourself with people who will keep you accountable, help you grow, and build you up.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience at this amazing camp. I grew so much and learned a lot about myself. I just pray that you have the opportunity to know Jesus Christ and have a personal relationship with him. I will leave you with a verse from Matthew 13:44

"The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field."

Day Five of UTC

First off, I want to say I am totally EXHAUSTED. So exhausted that my arms hurt holding them to type and are shaking. My legs feel like they are about to rip apart and I think I even walk with a little waddle because of it. The S.P.E.C.I.A.L. definitely broke me down, physically (through my soreness), mentally (learning to keep focused), and spiritually (learning to apply the principles and just talking to God during the events). This is the theme song for me during the S.P.E.CI.A.L.

So I was looking at what I shared about last time and realized I didn't explain what the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. is. The S.P.E.C.I.A.L. is a 19 hour competition including teams sports like basketball, sprints and relays, and additional ab and leg workouts. I don't want to spoil everything so I wont talk much about everything that we did, but I will share with you how I applied the principles and what I learned. 

So yesterday wasn't extremely hard, but I did struggle with swimming. I never knew how hard that sport was. It looks hard, but geeez!! I really relied on the Lord to get me through it. I made analogies telling myself I was chasing after the Lord, and that he was just on the other side; or used the thank you responses praising him for the things I have been given. The night ended about 1am and depending on you place in the competition, you had anywhere between 4-5 hours to sleep. If you know me, I am not an night owl and my bedtime is 9:30!!! haha so I came back and crashed.

I woke up at 4:54 and got ready in 7 minutes. Rushed out the door to go meet my team and head over to what was to come for the new day. I was feeling great, until we had to army crawl through the cold, wet grass at 5:30 in the morning!!! I really struggled and had to use the same strategies from swimming to get me through. I eventually became numb and finished. We had 13 parts to the obstacle course which were a various of things increasing my leg fatigue and soreness.

Something I realized later was that during the S.P.E.C.I.A.L., the Lord was giving me an opportunity to lead. I mentioned a few days ago that I learned about other talents that just basketball. One of the talents is leading through example and encouragement. The Lord really worked through me to lift up my teammates and help them through when things were rough. But the great thing is we made it!

After we had another type of relay. I was completely DEAD by this point. I had nothing left, I was dehydrated with headaches and just out of it. It was hard, but once again I got through it with the Lord pulling me along. The major theme I dealt with surrendering. Here I totally surrendered and prayed asking for his help. I could not go on. There were times where I was just dazed looking at the sky totally unaware of what was going on. Like I said OUT OF IT! hahaha But I always got back in line for the next race. Each time, I would fall to the ground thinking I don't know if I could finish and if I would just fall and pass out. But the Lord is Good and he pulled me along, giving me my second wind towards the end to help my team.

Finally, we bussed to a hill to run down and up with a ply board on our back like Jesus carrying the cross to his crucifixion. Throughout the entire S.P.E.C.I.A.L. we listened to Jesus' struggle and steps toward being crucified. We too were going through the same events (in a minuscule way): being at point of exhaustion, in pain, sorrow, and more. This camp has been an encouraging experience and I have grown and learned more about my walk with the Lord. My weaknesses and strengths in which way I can Glorify him. We have one more day, however not sure what there is left after all this, however I will write tomorrow to fill you in. Thanks for reading and caring. 

Day Four of UTC

So today we finished the principles and begun the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. (19 hours of activity) The fifth principle is called victory beyond competition.

VICTORY BEYOND COMPETITION:

We read Matthew 25:14-30 today which is a parable of the talent (a sum of money). Victory beyond competition is about investing your talents and making an impact because you are not guaranteed tomorrow. How should I live today? 

You have a choice to invest or waste your talents. You should be glorifying God with your talents in thanksgiving to him (since he has blessed you with those talents). You were given talents for a purpose: to listen to the Spirit to guide you for what God's plan for you is that day. You have a responsibility for your talents: the best place to put your talents is back to the Lord. 

An example of this is the story of Jesus feeding 5,000 people. The disciples ask him for help to feed the 5,000 so Jesus multiplies the bread and fish and gives it back to the disciples to feed the crowd. Likewise, we are to come to the Lord and ask for help and he will multiply what we could ever do. 

Finally, invest faithfully. Keep working to for the Lord and don't quit. Not knowing the Lord's plan and where you are going is so much sweeter than knowing because you may stop short. We can go so much further with the Lord's help. His plan is so much better than we could ever imagine! 

I learned that I have many talents other than basketball and need to share them and invest in them to honor the Lord. His plan is so much better and can take us further than we could imagine. 

THE S.P.E.C.I.A.L:

We started the S.P.E.C.I.A.L with Volleyball and it went well. I applied the Thank-You Responses, Focus Point, and Down Time is God Time. The next 20 some hours I will be in the S.P.E.C.I.A.L so I will write tomorrow about what I experienced. If you are reading this June 1, 2011 please be praying for me, for I will need it because my body will be exhausted from all the activity. Pray for surrender, strength, energy, and that I can practice these principles. Thanks, and I'll let you know how it turns out tomorrow!!! :0)

Day Three of UTC

1 Timothy 4:8-9 "Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it"

Today we discussed two more principles: Holy Sweat and Hurtin' for Certain

HOLY SWEAT/HOLLY SURRENDER: 

We read Luke 4:1-13 which is about when Jesus goes into the desert and the devil tempts Jesus.

After reading and reflecting on these verses I realized that I have falling into temptation and fail in my walk with Jesus. However, in order to help prevent this I need to be in the Word daily to fight these temptations with truth from God's Word. Secondly, I need to surround myself with other Christians walking with the Lord because they are there to help keep my accountable and strong in my faith; and hopefully wont tempt me so much as others.

The principle Holy Sweat/Holy Surrender is about relying on the Holy Spirit to be your strength for life and your sport. It's about growth.

God's goal for us is to be imitations of Jesus and to surrender completely to the Lord. I need to find success in fighting temptation by memorizing scripture like I mentioned before. When I say surrender, I mean surrender and let go of control and give it to the Spirit.  They gave a really good example that made since:

When you are lifting weights and have too much weight on, instead of trying to do it yourself surrender to your spotter and let them help. By letting them help, you can get more reps in and accomplish more with a little help. you don't have to do it all yourself. It's okay to ask for help!

HURTIN' FOR CERTAIN:

We read Genesis 37; 39:1-15; 41:39-43; 45:1-7 which talks about Joseph's trials and how he reacts to them. It also shows how in the most difficult times when you think no good could come out of it, God's plan prevails! 

Hurtin' for Certain is about how to deal with pain. Sports can be God's avenue for teaching you to respond appropriately to trials. We are either about to enter a storm, in a storm, or just ended a storm; thus no one is immune from trials, they happen to everyone. Only God knows, he has a plan and we wont know until later in life when we can make connections.

I learned you can have either a BITTER or BETTER response during your trials. "Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% of how you respond to it." Chuck Swindoll

Tough circumstances test our faithfulness to the Lord. Trials are a refining process to shape us more like Jesus. It reveals our true character (how we react in tough times). Time for another analogy:

If you like baking, you know that each ingredient is important to make the end product.  Raw eggs by themselves don't taste good, nor flour, salt, etc... But once you put all of them together and mix them together and finally bake them, the result is delicious. Trials are the same. In the midst they taste bad but in the end after the Lord's plan is revealed to you, it is so much sweeter!

After discussing the principles, we practiced them on the volleyball courts yet again. The refs were rigged, making us apply these principles. However, as much as I do not want to admit, I was very frustrated. We had a ref who called things so obviously incorrect that it was just RIDICULOUS!  People continued to say find your focal point, nail it and press on. But I was so in my head I couldn't get over it. It was an eye opener to really see how I'd react in a situation like that. I learned a lot.

Day Two of UTC

Day two!!! So we went over two principles today. The first one is called "Audience of One" and the second one is called "Inside Game"

Audience of One:

We read 1 Kings 18:1-40 which is about the Israelite people worshiping both God and an idol called Baal. 

Audience of One means worshiping God through your sport (or career, relationship, etc..) and playing for God and only God. Audience of One talks about identifying your idols and repenting, or turning away from them. God should be the only one you worship. We tend to worship so many different types of things, whether it is relationships, money, your career, sport, or self. But each of these things will never satisfy you and will always end up letting you down. Only God accepts you for who you are and will never be disappointed in you. Therefore, I am to play basketball for my Audience of One--my Lord and God--to glorify him and use the gifts he has given me.

Inside Game:

We read Luke 15:11-32 which is about the Lost Son. If you haven't read this before it's a must. It's a beautiful story that shows that the Lord loves us no matter what we do.

Inside game is about what motivates me? It should be God's love for me as the maximum motivation. 

Something we talked about was Grace Motivation which is your identity in Christ. To allow what God says is true about you to motivate you. There are many different types of things that motivate us like: recognition, revenge, success, winning, money, parents, etc... Although these are great short term motivational goals, they will never satisfy you. 

I also learned that my self worth is not determined by my performance and others opinion of me. But my self worth is dependent on what God declares true about me.

Finally, after learning about the principles we went to the volleyball fields to practice them and I learned how to use God as my motivation through "Thanks-You Responses". For example, I would thank God for his love and grace before each serve. By doing so I would put all my energy and strength into it. It was interesting. I think this tool will be helpful for me to keep God at the center of my sport. I tend to struggle using him as motivation in basketball since it is such a fast pace sport and so many things are going on, but if I can think of one thing and focus on it throughout the game and repeat thanks to God, I will glorify him and perform better because I will not be in my head and thinking negative things.

That was the main points for day two, tomorrow we talk about pain and suffering which I am looking forward to. Stay in tune! :0)

Day one of Ultimate Training Camp

I am at a Sports Ministry Camp in Colorado called Ultimate Training Camp (UTC) and plan to share with you the next 6 days what I have learned and how I am growing in my walk with Christ. I am really excited for this week because like my last post stated; I am in a dry period. I hope to discover areas in my life which I am blind to. I pray that God can open my eyes and take off my blinders to the struggles, lies, and darkness in my life. So that is what I hope to achieve in the next week. And here is what I learned and discovered tonight:

Tonight was short but I took away a couple points.

First, I learned a little more about the spirit. Tonight the spirit was described to me as a way for God to connect to us and have a relationship with us. God wants us to be close to him and this is through the spirit. The spirit isn't in anything other than human beings and it is made up of the soul, will, and emotions.


Secondly, I heard a great analogy for sin tonight that hit home. I'll share it with you:


For the sport of archery, the athlete shoots the arrow at a target trying to hit the small red dot in the center. Next to the target, a referee stands there to call out if he missed or hit the target. If the athlete misses the red center, the referee yells out SIN! (which translated means: missing the mark of perfection).
This is so funny to me that sin is mentioned in sports because so many times we relate sin to religion. But sin is just that: missing the mark of perfection. My perception of sin was always a bad evil thing, but it's just imperfection. Showing us that we are not perfect and need Christ to be seen perfect and redeemed.


These are the two things I took from tonight's discussion. The camp is just about to begin and I can't wait for what is to come. I just ask that you can continue to pray for me and my roommate this week. That our ears, hearts, and eyes are opened to things we are hiding from and try to ignore. Thanks! :0) and check back tomorrow for more!

Where have I been heading???

When do you need to stop reaching out to others and recognize that you need to focus on yourself? 

I have been so focused on praying for my roommate to attend a sports ministry camp called Ultimate Training Camp through the organization Athletes in Action, that I have not focused enough attention on MY walk with Christ. All I have been doing is asking for prayer for her, helping her raise money, praying over and over again for her eyes, heart, and ears to be opened  for what is to come. Although, after reflecting over the past few months I have realized the power of prayer. I have have prayed harder and more often that I have ever done, and God has provided my roommate with the opportunity to attend this camp. 

I have realized I do this [focus on others to a point that I risk my own relationship with Christ] so often, focus excessively on others and not enough on my struggles, issues, and personal walk. I get too caught up in others and wanting to help, and forget my relationship with Jesus. How can I reflect Jesus and share him with others when I am not focused on him and learning more? 

But the big question is how. Now that I have graduated, I no longer have all the support and fellowship I did at school at my disposal. This makes it harder...thus why I am looking forward to UTC (Ultimate Training Camp) and then FCA Camp I plan to work at the end of June. But I can not depend on these fellowship and learning opportunities to carry me throughout the summer. I need to take it upon myself to study and be focused on the Lord. 

So...as you as my witness, I am going to focus on MY walk. Take time for MY growth. So if you know me personally, people don't hesitate to keep me in check and accountable. Please ask me and challenge me to grow because we are all brothers and sisters and pursuing the same goal: to be more like Christ.

What is Christianity?

 (Sorry for the subtitles)

After watching this video Monday, I was encouraged that someone was standing up for Christians in the fact that "this Bullhorn guy" isn't really what Christianity is all about--condemning people. But like it states in the video, "What are you doing to change this view of Christianity?" I was speechless. I don't do anything to try to change this perception. So here is me trying to stand up for what I believe.
 

Being a Christian is about having a relationship with God. Being able to share everything with someone (Jesus). Jesus is the way in which we are able to talk to God. It is through him that I am saved and seen pure. "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" (John 3:17). Christianity is a relationship with Jesus not a religion.

I also really liked the question he posed: "How did so few end up speaking for so many????" Sad hu? 

THE HOLY SPIRIT

I have been getting into Scripture the past 2 weeks and am learning about the Holy Spirit. I was putting together a bible study and thought I'd share it :)

1. Who or what is the Holy Spirit? 

• Our bridge to God, the voice of God to guide, direct, love, and restore your thinking; its your constant resource, companion, and speaker of truth

       Scripture: John 14:20

"That day you will know that I [Jesus] am in My Father, you are in ME, and I am in you." 

    
      2.  What is the Holy Spirit?

• Jesus gave us the Spirit as “compensation” for His absence, to perform the functions toward us which He would have done if He had remained personally with us. 
• The Spirit’s presence within us enables us to understand and interpret God’s Word.

     

       Scripture: John 14:26

"The Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you." 

       Scripture: John 16:13

"When He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come."

• The Holy Spirit was given to us to live inside in order to live through God's character.
• The Holy Spirit will build into our lives: peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)
• The Holy Spirit convicts us of how sinful we are and that we need God's forgiveness. The Holy Spirit is kind of like our WWJD compass (when we are heading in the wrong direction the Holy Spirit tugs on our hearts)

My Personal Experience: 

a few months ago I was in a spiritual slump. Not in the word, community, fellowship, church...nothing. But one night I was bored and was trying to find something to do. (I have a hard time sitting down on my own reading the bible. I have probably done it once or twice and read a passage and stop, checking it off my list). However, this night I randomly picked up my bible and read through Philippians and Ephesians all the way through, learning and growing. That night I realized this was definitely of the Spirit. I could not do that alone, and wouldn't. 

Overall, I have learned a lot from the past 2 weeks and it is all because of My glorious God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit which work together to create, grow, and mold me into the person I am. God is too good :) 
Thanks for allowing me to share. 

God is TOO good :)

So its been a while since I posted anything and that's because I have been at a plateau spiritually. I had such a high spiritual growth over the summer and now I am having withdrawals, hahaha just kidding.

Something I have recently realized is I am in a time of peace and joy. I am not in a tribulation or struggle at the moment and kind of wish I were. It is so much easier to be in the word and talk to God when something is going wrong. It's so easy for us to run to God for help, forgiveness, and wisdom.

In the fall, I was sent a Forward Chain email which was an illustration of God and prayers. It said that God has zillions of letters filed away of prayer requests and only a few hundred thanks and glorified prayers. Although this is just an illustration and story it really go me thinking. So this season I have really been praising the Lord whenever something good comes. In reality these praises and thanks are the only prayers I have been focusing on.

However, I am really struggling with all the good the Lord has given me because I know I do not deserve any of it. I find myself constantly questioning God why he has blessed me so much? and why me? So many of my friends and family, and people in the world in general are struggling and not as blessed as me. Last Sunday I realized that it comes down to me not wanting to accept God's Grace, and wanting to be selfish and in control. I want to punish myself because it is so hard for human beings to understand how much the Lord loves us and Jesus was crucified on the cross for me. Him dying there was the punishment I deserve but he took it all to bare. So why do I insist on trying to bare that burden too?

John 10:11 "I am the good Shepard. The good Shepard lays down his life for his sheep."



With all this said I think it is important to remember that our Lord our God loves us more than we can comprehend and therefore has saved us.

I like the song Beloved by Tenth Avenue North, it's a beautiful song which talks about the Lord's love for us.