Yesterday I decided to just take my time and walk to practice alone. I was planning on listening to music but when I pushed play a sermon came up from Reality LA (my church in Los Angeles). It was about getting right with Jesus and where you are at. This sermon was old, I think I had heard it before, but it really moved me listening to it again. It was just what i needed.
The reading was John 21:15-23
After awhile of listening to pastor Tim, I realized I am trying to find what my purpose is to be here. Is it to share the Gospel with teammates, help someone, meet someone, do something? WHAT? However I realized all this time is for me to become closer to God. There is TONS of free time, and I am looking to fill it with doing something however I need to just pray, reflect, learn, and work on my relationship with him. I was reading a devotional a few days ago and it mentioned that your relationship with Jesus is just like any relationship. You need to listen, talk, share, think about each other, etc. So that's why I am here and what I am suppose to do.
Anyway, back to the podcast. I realized I spend too much time focusing on others than myself. I pray more for others than myself, look to help others than working on my own problems. Tim mentioned that we focus on others to compare and judge. It doesn't matter what person "A" is doing (to an extent). I can't control, fix, or make person "A" do the right thing, only God can. I CAN make ME do the right thing. I am in control of myself. Just like in John 21:15-23 Peter is worried about John's future and not his own, when jesus says it's non of your consern. Follow me. Do what I told YOU to do.
Another thing pastor Time mentioned was community. I also say how important that is for me in order to keep on the right path. However pastor Tim brought up a great point; that it can become an idol or obsession taking away from your personal time with God. I am too focused on being around others and the study we do there, that I don't do anything outside community groups. That's my "God time". I substitute community for my "check list". I did it, so I don't need to do my reflection, prayer, or journaling any more. This is not how it's suppose to be. I have learned I need to have more personal time with the Lord, instead of relying on community to help me with my relationship.
Here is the podcast if you'd like to watch. Pastor Time is awesome, funny, and relatable. http://realityla.com/teachings/keeping-your-focus/
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